This is a new feature here at Scott Alan Stapp Entertainment. L.L.C., it's called the Scott Alan Stapp On: and will be a hard-hitting editorial on the day's most important issues.
If I'm leveling with you it's because I recently got in trouble for putting my meatsack in a bowl of soup that displeased me in a public place. This is supposed to be the newer, more mature look of Scott A. Stapp.
And it's starting with dog's and the funnier things their penises are capable of.
Dog facts:
The dog is part wolf and part house cat. It was born in the 1500s because white people liked the way they smelled.
Currently there are no dog politicians, though certain dog factions wish to change this. Often cited arguments are the valuable contributions of Dogmonauts in the space race.
The space race was an opera about a race war in space. It took place under Nixon.
Long a popular president, Nixon was a closeted dog-hater and, therefore, a totally tricky dick.
There are long standing rumors that a dog's penis resembles lipstick but this is false because you can't apply a dog-donk to your nuts and have there be evidence 48 hours later.
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Scott "Hitting facts hard" Stapp, out!
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