"Funky Cold Medina"

Kid Rock and I have ended our feud. It's done. We're friends again. And it's all thanks to none other than eighties rapper Tone Loc. Loc's bitchin song, "Funky Cold Medina" (little known fact, this is the first song that Creed covered) is all about a super sweet love drug called Funky Cold Medina. This song came on the radio as I was driving home from the pound the other day. You see, I had just come from my weekly dog selection (every week I go to the pound and get two dogs and then I go home and make them into dog jerky while screaming obscenities at Tom Bergeron from America's Funniest Home Videos), and as I was driving home, "Funky Cold Medina" came on the radio and that used to be me and Kid's jam and then I remembered that time we gave that chick seven funky cold ones and then she slobbed our hogs and I just couldn't stay mad anymore. So I said "Fuck it" and called off the goddamn feud.

Thanks, Tone. Thanks a ton.

-Scott Alan Stapp